Marriage

Re-engage with your Spouse!

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Re-engage with your Spouse!

What happens when the couple gets “engaged,” gets married, gets on with life, and has a house plus 2.3 children???  Are they still “engaged”?  For many couples, this is when their “engagement”–their emotional engagement–gets strained.  It’s hard to stay emotionally connected while “doing life”!

So, what’s an easy way to stay ”engaged” (emotionally)?

  • “Trust”!?! Are you zeroed in on the failures – disappointments and broken promises – and forgetting the areas your spouse has remained trustworthy? Remember, and be grateful for those commitments and areas where you are still very fond of your spouse.
  • “Daily Check-In”!?! Spend 15-20 minutes per day with your partner “checking in,” debriefing your day and giving and receiving emotional support.  Couples tend to do this naturally when they are dating – either seeing each other in person or spending time on the phone.  But the stress and schedule of married life gets in the way.  However, if couples don’t find ways to defeat this stress and scheduling challenge, they can quickly become disengaged!  In just a little more time than it takes to “Check-In” on Facebook, you can “Check-in” with your spouse–with a lot more personal and positive results!
  • “Be Giving”!?! Let your loved one know that they are still number one in your life. Do four, or more, thoughtful behaviors for your loved one each week; simple things including asking about their “high” and “low” of the day, listen without interrupting, provide emotional support without offering advice or criticism, stop and smile upon them entering the room, or go on a walk together.

Over the next few weeks, give your spouse the gift of re-engagement!